Special thanks to LiLu over at Livitluvit.com, it's always great to read other humiliating stories :)
So, for those of you who don't know, I'm old. Not ancient, but old enough to attend a 10 year graduation reunion for my high school. I was excited to see some of my old friends, as well as see who had changed since graduation. So in all pretenciousness I decide to wear a suit, like you do when you go to a reunion and want people to know that you're doing well.
Before I could "Suit Up!" (Barney would have been sooo proud of me) I had to shower, now this is where the TMI starts to come in. Usually when I shower I take a leak before hand, flush then head into the shower. Somehow I missed that second step (this is an integral part of the story...just trust me for now). At the time I was texting back and forth with my, at the time, girlfriend keeping her apprised of what was going on. So, I set my phone on top of the commode (Ladies, you know how you always get upset when we leave the toilet seat up...I know your pain...sort of). I hop in the shower and begin to wash, covering all the important areas as well as the not so important areas. While I'm showering, I continue to receive and send texts to my girlfirend, no issues so far. By now the bathroom is filled with steam (since I like my showers to be hot), and there is condensation building up on the commode. I begin rinsing my hair, and that's when I hear it..."Sploosh". I think to myself, did a ghost just take a dump in my toilet? Then it dawns on me, oh FUCK! I hop out of the shower and see my phone, floating around in the bowl of the toilet, happy as a clam, in my piss. FML!
Now, I contemplated flushing it down, but since we use a septic system, that was not a viable option. Instead, I reached in, pulled it out, toweled it off, then procedded to wash my hands 50 billion times. I attempted to dry off the phone hoping it would work. I even tried the hair drier, but apparently my pee is great at short circuiting all sorts of electronics! So I grab the phone, and head out to get a new one, at the time I hoped that they might be able to transfer my contacts, but unfortunately this was a lost cause.
Moral of the story:
Put the GOD DAMN toilet seat down...
oh yeah...here's a pic just so you know I wasn't totally bullshitting about wearing a suit to the reunion
Obviously I'm the guy on the right...because I'm awesome