28 January 2010

TMI Thursday - Basic Training Deformity

Okay it's TMI Thursday, and unfortunately I can't directly link to
Lilu's blog through my e-mail. Anyway, let's get on with the show.

So, back when I was cool (strike that, I was never cool, what I meant to
say was, when I was younger). I joined the military. As we all know,
(or you will know now) Basic Combat Training is wrought with peril. You
get shot at (I'm not making this up, it actually happens), you walk a
lot (like 5-6 miles per day), and you exercise a lot. Unfortunately,
this story is about none of those.

This is about BRM (Basic Rifle Marksmanship). I will try not to bore
you (I might accidentally) with the details of BRM, but suffice it to
say, I was properly trained on how to fire a M16-A2 semi-automatic
rifle. Now, during basic there are two positions that I fired from, the
prone unsupported (lying on my stomach) and the supported (in a
foxhole). So, we're practicing firing from the supported position,
everything goes well. I climb out of my fox hole and my foot slips. I
fall...onto the ledge of the foxhole (well, my ass hit the ledge of the
foxhole, then I slid the rest of the way down, and hit my head on the
ledge as well). Things went blurry for a minute as I regained my
faculties, the DS came over to check on me and I assured him I could
carry on. The rest of the day I feel a pain in my ass (literally), and
I continue to have a slight limp.

The following day, the pain is still there. So I go to sick call;
however, the medic asks me how I was injured...which I told him, then
says the following:

"So, what you're telling me is that you want me to send you to the
Hospital because your ass hurts?"

-"Yup"

"Soldier, that's not going to fly"

-"Well, it hurts..."

The conversation went on for a while, but my memory is becoming faulty
since it's been 10 years. Anybuttsecks, I still had no idea what was
wrong, or why I was limping around, until a few days later when I looked
in the mirror. What I saw was a huge bruise on my ass, (insert
obligatory ass pounding joke here) as well as...wait for it...a dent.
Yes, you read that correctly, there was a dent in my right cheek. A
perfect impression of the ledge of the foxhole. I thought that in time
it would go away, but to this day, the impression of the foxhole is
still there.

5 comments:

  1. Sometimes you've gotta have a dent in your ass.

    Wait.

    What?

    ReplyDelete
  2. *fingers poised over keyboard*

    Ummm....things in the mirror are larger than they appear?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sounds painful.

    I once had a massive bruise on my ass after I fell off a barstool. But not a DENT.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So you're saying that your ass has character? Not everyone can!

    ReplyDelete
  5. LMAO @ Wynn's comment...
    Oh, Griffin, what an excellent storyteller you are...I could picture everything, including the dent in your ass. -)

    ReplyDelete